I tried going with the flow. I really, really tried. I spent the past few weeks pushing down anxiety and doubts, and floated down the metaphorical stream I imagine the flow is flowing in.
Fun fact: You can’t keep stuffing things deep inside. You’ll explode. (Or drown if we stick with the flow metaphor.)
But, getting out of the flowing steam means I must make more decisions. Big anxiety triggers, decisions are.
What if I make a wrong decision? Meg chose wrong and she ended up working for Hades. And her boyfriend left her. Double ouch.
I was talking to my therapist today and concluded that while going with the flow can be nice, it can only take you so far, or you can’t go with the flow forever. You’d just end up in the ocean. (I’m done with the metaphor now.)
Meg pushes down and denies her feelings for Hercules. She’s been hurt and she doesn’t want to be vulnerable to any more pain. (I totally understand, girl.)
But she does end up deciding. She dies because of that decision, but hey, Hercules brings her back.
I made a decision this week. And it felt good. The anxiety specific to my issue disappeared and I feel more confident and, well, like I’m done making big decisions for a while. Maybe I’ll hop back in that stream again for a while and see where it takes me. Or not. (OK, I lied.)