I’ve been really focused the past month trying to define “nonsense” and Wonderland. Are they the same thing? How do they relate to depression? Is Wonderland just Alice’s train of thought? I even started writing something that resembled an essay. As I was writing though, Alice can up to my computer, looked at the screen, screwed up her face and said,
After I was done being offended, I said, “You’re right, Alice! Complete nonsense! What was I thinking?”
“You were thinking too much.”
She was right. I want so much to find answers, explanations and cures to depression that I get caught up in my own head. In fact, I lose it.
I’m not the best with balance. First off, I’m physically unbalanced (I run into walls), but I also end up doing too much of one thing: thinking too much, eating too much, sleeping too much, watching the same show too much, etc.
Alice is also unbalanced. Her sister really is a boring teacher and it’s no wonder she wants to escape her history lesson. But when Alice is in Wonderland for too long, it gets out of hand. She’s in threat of losing her head.
I don’t have any grand revelations on how to find balance in life. Alice doesn’t have any grand revelations either. But I think that’s alright. I think I need to learn to be OK with not having answers to everything.
Alice goes through Wonderland without trying to find the meaning behind all the things that happens to her. When she does get caught up, she gets confused and upset.
What happens when I think too much? I get confused and upset (and depressed).
I need to be more like Alice and take the random events in life in stride.
So, my new advice to myself is: Less thinking and more living.
And my plan is to follow it.
P.S. I dressed up as Alice for Halloween! Not like my normal monthly photo shoot – I had a wig and everything!