I Am Catie

One goal I did work on early this month was “listen to my inner voice.” It was a goal with good intentions that got me into some trouble

I was working on the question – “What do I want if money and time and other people’s opinions are put aside? What do I feel called to do?”

I thought I was on a role when I began to answer this question, but I forgot that sometimes my inner voice and the voice of depression can be confused. What’s worse –I let depression win. Doubt, hopelessness, worthlessness, uncertainty and a lot of panic and tears and sleep ensued.

I rewatched Moana over the weekend.

Towards the end of the film, Maui and Moana have a disagreement which leads to Moana doubting herself.

“I’m not the right person,” Moana tells the ocean.

Luckily, she gets a little help and encouragement from her grandmother.

I also received help. I see a counselor in addition to taking anti-depressants. What’s good (and bad) about having someone to talk to is that they can tell you things you already know.

Long story short is – I was reminded that it doesn’t ever hurt to try and that the path I was thinking about isn’t one that I just thought up.

And Moana reminded me that even though it’s hard to remember – I am not depression or any other negative emotion that I feel. I am me. I am Catie.

There’s a lot power in that statement. And in me.

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