One goal I did work on early this month was “listen to my inner voice.” It was a goal with good intentions that got me into some trouble
I was working on the question – “What do I want if money and time and other people’s opinions are put aside? What do I feel called to do?”
I thought I was on a role when I began to answer this question, but I forgot that sometimes my inner voice and the voice of depression can be confused. What’s worse –I let depression win. Doubt, hopelessness, worthlessness, uncertainty and a lot of panic and tears and sleep ensued.
I rewatched Moana over the weekend.
Towards the end of the film, Maui and Moana have a disagreement which leads to Moana doubting herself.
“I’m not the right person,” Moana tells the ocean.
Luckily, she gets a little help and encouragement from her grandmother.
I also received help. I see a counselor in addition to taking anti-depressants. What’s good (and bad) about having someone to talk to is that they can tell you things you already know.
Long story short is – I was reminded that it doesn’t ever hurt to try and that the path I was thinking about isn’t one that I just thought up.
And Moana reminded me that even though it’s hard to remember – I am not depression or any other negative emotion that I feel. I am me. I am Catie.
There’s a lot power in that statement. And in me.