I’m not quitting.
It took some self-reflection, counseling, crying and some kind words and some “We’re going to the zoo [next month], you have no choice!” words from caring friends, but I’m not giving up on the blog.
My counselor made a good point to me (notably the week after I made the goals for the week of cleaning, but I am trying to get over that): I was trying to do too much in too short a time. I was putting too much pressure on myself. She asked if I noticed her draw dropping when I went over my list with her. (um, no, I hadn’t).
So, when I do feature a princess (or nanny) on this blog, I’m going to have to rethink my goals and intentions each month. As much as I want a clean room and whole new outlooks on life, or whatever great change I think I’m going to accomplish in 30 days – I need to take a breath and take a step or two or three back. Things don’t work that way for a “normal” person. And they definitely don’t work that way for a person with depression, anxiety and sleep disorders.
For the rest of the month, I’m going to enjoy Mary Poppins. Watch the movies, read the book and work on little goals. Like put my laundry away. Clean the guinea pig cage REALLY well. And reward myself for those things. Make games out of those small things. As much as I would wish it, I don’t have a magical nanny who can clean the nursery by snapping fingers, I don’t.
As much as I would like to fix things in a month that have been issues for years, I can’t.
So small things it is!
After all, “Sometimes a little thing can be quite important.”