anxiety, depression, Disney, Mary Poppins, mental health

Not So Practically Perfect Proceedings

My Mary Poppins’ plans aren’t going the way I want.

I thought if I pretended like she was an actual presence in the house it would help motivate me more – who wants a nanny breathing down her neck, and a magical one at that?

I thought if I extended the time limit, I wouldn’t feel pressured to get everything done in one month and my tendencies to do everything at the end of the month would be spread out because I’d have more time.

This was supposed to be the week of cleaning.

I had a goal and reward system in place. It was written down and everything. But when Day 1 didn’t go as planned and Day 2 didn’t go as planned, Day 3 felt less magical and Day 4 said, “Why bother, you’ve already failed.” You get the idea.

Part of me, the depressed part of me, wants to give up on all of it. The blog isn’t working. I’m not motivated by it. Not even Mary Poppins can get me moving and grooving.

Some of me doesn’t want to give up. I have plans! I’ve bought stuff already! I need a creative outlet!

The rest of me is confused.

I’m going to think on it a few days. Discuss it with my new counselor.  And see if there’s any Mary Poppins magic I haven’t discovered yet.

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