December gives me a lot of anxiety and not because of the usual “it’s the holidays” stress. It’s the end year and I’m starting to freak out a little. I always get caught up on how fast the year has gone (I’ve been told by many that it only gets faster as you get older, so that’s just awesome) and what have I really done with it? How much time have I wasted? And then I think about the dreaded new year and want to vomit. What is to come? What if I waste more of my life? You know, normal thoughts like that.
I have looked a lot like this this month I think:
So, I am glad Mulan is here for me this month. I think she is someone who understands this panic and dread and gloom and doom. She can’t honor her family the way society wants her to, so has she been wasting her life trying to be something she is not? Who is she? Who is she supposed to be? You know, normal thoughts like that.
Now, more about this Mulan.
Seen in: Mulan, 1998
My Favorite Songs:
- “Honor to Us All”
- “I’ll Make a Man Out of You”
- “A Girl Worth Fighting For”
My Favorite Things About Mulan:
- She’s brave and kick-ass. Her ass saves all of China after all.
- She gets away with being dressed as a man, even though she’s quite terrible at it. Shakespeare would LOVE her. (See “As You Like It” and “Twelfth Night” for examples, but I digress.)
- She is respectful and rebellious at the same time. She does her duties in the beginning of the movie (though not gracefully), but then she goes and joins the army to save her father and to prove to herself that she can do something right even though it is very, very against the law and custom.
- She finds herself in her reflection. They don’t openly say this, but she saves China, brings honor to her family without having to get married to do it, and she finds her confidence while doing so. Reflection = found.
- She has the cutest pet cricket. Sorry Jiminy.
Mulan’s Most Depressing Moments:
- When her father tells her this:
I don’t know if it’s the same for others, but it always hurts most when my insecurities or things I think are wrong with me are verified by others. Purposefully or not. Truthfully or not.
- After it’s discovered she’s a woman and she’s left alone on the mountain:
“I see nothing,” she says. Depression likes that word: nothing. I’m so glad she has a friend in this scene.
My Goals Inspired by Mulan:
- Go to the Dragon Lights.
Status: This is a Chinese lantern festival in Columbus and I must go! I’m hoping to go this coming weekend. As much as I may want to, I don’t have to go see the Great Wall to learn a little about Mulan’s culture.
- Take a martial arts class.
Status: I really need to exercise. Once my yoga teacher quit, I kind of gave up on any form of extra movement.
Fun fact #1 : exercise is a proven way to help relive stress and anxiety. Fun fact #2: When I’m depressed and anxious I do NOT want to exercise. Very last thing on my mind. You know that motivation thing.
I need to make exercise fun and watching Mulan go through all her training to “be a man,” inspired the thought. Not the “be a man” bit, but the exercise bit. I’m not 100%, I should do some research, but I think she learns kung fu practices in the movie. How fun and kick-ass!
- The word you are going to get tired of me using: reflection. I will be reflecting in two parts.
- End of the year reflection. What have I accomplished this year? I’m going to keep it positive, but I also want to ask myself, where do I want to be?
- A general personal reflection. Mulan asks herself, “When will my reflection show who I am inside?” I want to answer this question for myself.
Status: In progress. I reflect all the time, but I don’t think I do the right kind of reflecting. More on this later.
That’s all I have for now. Until next time.