It’s been awhile! I hope everyone is doing well. I am writing today to explain why I’ve been MIA the past few months.
Since spending the month of March with Merida, things have been difficult for me. You can see my posts in April and May where I think this is somewhat apparent.
Even though I believed (and still do) that my year with the Disney Princesses taught me SO much, I was surprised by unwelcome grief on March 31st. I felt like something had come to an end. I didn’t have plans for what came next and I didn’t go to Disney World like I had planned to celebrate what I had accomplished. So, I had no closure and no answer to one of my least favorite questions – What now?
On top of that, my hypersomnia took over my life, I was frustrated with work and so tired working every day. There were family issues and money issues. There were Catie issues.
I battled feelings of inadequacy and failure.
I began to wonder what the point of life was if we are all just going to die anyway.
I didn’t understand why I should pray or ask or even try for happiness when others out there suffer so much more than me.
I felt angry, scared, disappointed and sad. I felt I had no purpose.
I was (and still am) FRIGGIN’ DEPRESSED. You know that thing this blog is supposed to be battling? Depressed as in the photo below:
And to top it off, the year with the princesses felt like something that happened to another person.
I have help – a new medicine and a new counselor. She suggested (though others have suggested it as well, but who listens to advice from family?) that I start my blog again. To get a sense of purpose again.
So, I’m back! And I’m trying.
With the following changes/thoughts/whatevers:
- I’m redefining the definition of “princess” (I haven’t quite figured it all out yet, though).
- I’m not setting a schedule. At least not right away. I want to start out slow and work my way back up.
- I’m going to do this blog for me. Not for how many likes on Facebook I get, or how many readers read each blog post. This was my plan last time too, but the world of social media makes this difficult. But I’m saying right now, if no one reads this, well, that’s just fine. Because I wrote it. I did something.
- I’m going to retract number 3 right now and say this: I’m writing this blog in the hopes that I can help at least ONE person. So, this blog is for you, too.
Tomorrow is the photo shoot of the new princess I will be learning from. And I’m not telling who she is. (Unless I’ve already blabbed to you… forget I mentioned her name!)
Until the reveal!
P.S. NO, it’s not that random girl in the photo above. I just liked her tiara. And her nails.