“On to Find My Future”

A bit of reflection in this post. Pun intended.

As much as I want to know what countries my ancestors came from (I really want to do the DNA thing), I sometimes wonder where my depression came from more.

I recently heard that “historical trauma changes the makeup of our cells as far out as 12 generations.” I haven’t done the research on this yet, but if it is true — how crazy is that?

I often think trying to find the source of my depression is sort of a chicken or the egg kind of question, and I question if it really matters at all.

When I look at the family tree I created over the month, does it really matter if my great x 3 grandparent is the reason that depression runs in my family? Because the depression is mine now. And can I blame it all on my genetic makeup? Don’t my own life experiences play a part?

There are no real answers.

Before Anastasia knows she’s Anastasia, she is obsessed with her past. She’s convinced that it will give her the answers she seeks.

As the movie progresses, however, I think she begins to learn that while the past is important, it’s the present and what it can lead to that is where her heart should be.

I still plan to research my family tree and I still have my questions, but I don’t want those questions to consume me.

Instead, I should focus on being present and on healing myself so I can go “on to find my future.”

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