I am struggling with my depression and anxiety. I’m still able to go to work, but it’s a struggle, and doing anything else with my free time besides relaxing feels impossible.
My counselor says I can do anything for 5 minutes. My support group says recovery is not a straight line. My anxiety workbook says if I make some positive changes in my life, I will start to feel better.
What do you say?
In some of my darker moments I wonder if there’s even a point to this blog. Am I really learning anything? What do I get out of this besides some clothes I can’t really afford and an excuse to watch a Disney movie? I know deep down this isn’t true, but still, I wonder.
Did you know that it’s Mental Health Awareness Month? I wanted to do something special for the blog to celebrate, but I haven’t come up with any concrete ideas. But maybe, that’s OK? I’m taking time off from the blog for my mental health – is that not being aware of my condition?
Sometimes I just need to come to terms with the fact that I am sick sometimes. That’s OK. Something I’ve learned to accept quite recently is that the symptoms of my mental health condition are separate from me, the person experiencing them. I am not my depression and it is not me. It is something I struggle with, that is all. Why give it more power than it already has?
I don’t really know what the point of this letter is. Just to get some of my thoughts on paper, I guess, but it’s nice to talk to you all. In my mind you are all good listeners.
So, I guess, thanks for listening and thanks for being there when I need you.