While you were at a party or spending the evening with friends and family on New Year’s Eve, I was asleep. With a migraine to boot. (Yes, I added that fact for pity points.)
I spent the majority of January and February this year asleep. When I wasn’t at work, doing anything I felt was obligatory or spending time with family and friends, I was snoozing away.
I would wake up (late) and go to work (usually late), work and try not to fall asleep, drive home from work and try not to fall asleep some more, feed my dogs, go to my room, put on an audio book and listen to it until sleep took me at last. I didn’t even need to prick my finger on the spindle of a spinning wheel.
Sometimes I would sleep until the next morning – other times I would wake up between 10 pm and 1 or 2 am and stay awake until 4 or 5. Then the cycle would continue.
I was just so tired. To be honest, I’m tired still. But at least I’m awake. Thank you, medication.
Insomnia and hypersomnia, which is excessive daytime tiredness and/or excessive sleeping, are two symptoms of depression (or are the cause of depression, science is unsure). A person with depression can have one, the other or both. Lucky us.
Depression makes me feel like the world, my world, is moving on without me and doesn’t need or want me to keep on turning. So, when the three good fairies put Aurora’s parents and their kingdom to sleep after her curse was enacted, I was more than a little jealous.
Why can’t the world stop when I stop? How is this fair? Where are Flora, Fauna and Merryweather when I need them?
One of the reasons I started this blog was to, not make up time because you can’t do that, but to use the time I do have. To make the most of it. (See goal two of this month.)
Depression has taken a lot of time from me. But it can’t take it all. I won’t let it.
Who sleeps like this? I mean, come on.