anxiety, depression, disney princess, Uncategorized

Dear Pocahontas

Dear Pocahontas,

This month has been a doozy. I’ve done some things “off the beaten path” and I have not always chosen “the smoothest course,” and it’s all your fault.

As someone who suffers from anxiety and depression, this has been extra challenging. I have dealt with a lot of anxiety (butterflies in my stomach, angry, angry butterflies, amongst other side effects) and I have shed some tears. I can’t remember the last time I’ve had a full night’s sleep. But I’ve also gone to bed before dark. So explain that to me.

But Pocahontas, you are correct when you say that people pay a price when they choose the smoothest, safest course. (Like the getting on stuck in the shallow part of the river, unmoving, kind of price.)

What do you do, though, if you have chosen the more difficult path and it turns out to be the wrong one? Aren’t there pros and cons to every decision we make? Aren’t there always consequences?

I know, I know, we can’t let the fear of those consequences keep us from finding out what’s on the other side. What if it is the path we are meant to follow? But still, I worry. I am so good at worrying (cue angry butterflies).

I have been not happy exactly, but comfortable, in the path I have been following. There have been minimal risks and the weeks come and go without much change.

But I know I can’t live like this forever.

So, I applied for two new positions at work. I don’t know if I made the right decision and I don’t think it’s my heart’s desire, but at least I’m changing course.

Well, that’s all I got for now. I will keep you updated on what happens! Say hi to Meeko and Flit for me.

Your friend,

Catie

P.S. I really love this song of yours. It’s really inspired me, you know.

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